


I Don’t Hate You (Really)

by wjmoon



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Mutual Pining, Pining, kind of?, oh boy i’m not sure how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-05 01:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20480387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wjmoon/pseuds/wjmoon
Summary: Wooseok is head over heels in love with his best friend’s other best friend so naturally he does everything in his power to avoid him and pretend he hates him, but he’s forced to confront his feelings when he and Seungwoo have to wait all night for their friend to come home.OrWooseok is stupid in love with Seungwoo who doesn’t get why he hates him so much





	I Don’t Hate You (Really)

**Author's Note:**

> I want to try writing more Seungwoo/Wooseok because this was a lot of fun. I hope you enjoy it!

It was his best friend’s birthday so he should have been in a good mood, but Wooseok had dreaded it the whole day. Since they grew up together, they did everything together, and it had been just the two of them until Seungyoun found another best friend in college.

It wasn’t like Wooseok had been replaced, exactly. In fact, Seungyoun broke his neck to make sure that he spent enough time with the both of them that it really didn’t feel any different than before. The problem was that Wooseok was head over heels in love with Seungyoun’s other best friend and just being near him made him heartsick. 

It started not long after Seungyoun started talking about this guy at work.  _ You would love him! He’s so nice and generous, but he’s like a kid. He’s older, but he’s a big baby.  _ So when they met for the first time, Wooseok had expected to meet some kind of loser that Seungyoun had taken under his wing, but it was quite the opposite. 

Seungwoo was a kind of beautiful that he had never seen before. Everything from the shape of his eyes to the sharp bridge of his nose to his full lips were unfairly perfect. His hair hung down in his face over his eyes which should have been a flaw, but it was a break from the rawness he carried with him in the cut of his collarbones and the tattoos that slipped out whenever his clothes were too loose. And then there were the times that his too loose clothes would rise up when he stretched, and Wooseok would get a peek of his waistline and feel his knees buckle. He was also incredibly smart and thoughtful, and he was playful. He was disgustingly perfect.

So naturally Wooseok wanted to avoid him like the plague.

But avoiding him meant avoiding Seungyoun which he couldn’t do so he suffered and did everything in his power to find reasons to hate Seungwoo. Seungwoo liked mint chocolate chip flavored ice cream so obviously he had peculiar tastes and would be weird to eat with. Seungwoo chewed on his straws while he was thinking so how could Wooseok be sure he wouldn’t chew on all of his pens? Seungwoo’s hands were too delicate and slender. Seungwoo was too tall. His skin was too clear. His voice cracked sometimes when he talked. His ballads were too emotional when they sang karaoke. His smile was too warm. He was absolutely despicable.

And of course Wooseok never told Seungyoun about his feelings. How could he? There were two ways he could react, and both of them were horrible. On one hand it could drive a wedge between their friendship and either he or Seungwoo would lose Seungyoun forever. On the other, Seungyoun could find the whole situation hilarious and tell Seungwoo about Wooseok’s soul shattering crush, and then he would be the butt of every joke between them for the rest of his life. Either way it would ruin his life if Seungyoun found out so he did what every well adjusted friend–in–love–with–a–friend’s–friend would do, he buried that shit deep inside where no one could find it.

But then suddenly it was Seungyoun’s birthday, and all he wanted to do was spend it with his two favorite people — Wooseok and Seungwoo. If it wasn’t bad enough that Wooseok was already useless and smitten, sometimes Seungyoun referred to them as one person under the moniker “seungwooseok” as if that was okay at all. You don’t just call your friends by a joint name and not expect one of them to get attached to the idea of it. It was him. He was the one attached to it.

Wooseok and Seungyoun lived together so he didn’t even allow him the decency of panicking in the back of the cab on the way to the place where they would meet Seungwoo. No, it was much more convenient for Seungwoo to meet them at their apartment. 

He came over a lot especially lately. It felt like he was  _ always  _ there so Wooseok spent a lot of time in his room so that he wouldn’t have to see him. Every so often he would sneak out of his room for a snack or to use the bathroom and get a look at Seungwoo’s stupid perfect face before going back, but sometimes Seungwoo caught him looking. Wooseok wasn’t weak, though. He didn’t dart his eyes shyly. Oh no. He held his gaze until it was Seungwoo who had to look away. It was his house, and he had to uphold whatever scraps of dignity he had left.

It was a Friday night so they waited until everyone was off of work. They would go out for grilled meats and too much soju and beer before stumbling into a nightclub or a karaoke room to spend the night away. If that was what Seungyoun wanted to do, then by golly that was what they were going to do. Wooseok only had to wait about thirty minutes after Seungwoo dropped by to guzzle down a few shots to get through it. At least then if his cheeks turned a treacherous shade of red, he could blame it on the alcohol and not his burning desires.

He dressed in sleek black pants and a silky button up shirt and styled his hair extra fancy. He wasn’t about to spend a night on the town looking like it was laundry day, and if he managed to catch a few looks from the person he definitely wasn’t trying to impress, then what was the harm in that? Would Seungyoun make fun of him? Probably. Did he care? Not really.

Seungwoo would be there any minute, and Wooseok had to look natural so he grabbed a book off the shelf that someone had gifted him and sat out in the open on the couch and pretended to read it.

“What are you doing?” Seungyoun said.

“I’m reading,” he lied. 

“Right now?”

“Yes, I’m killing time before we leave,” he said, but really he was trying to put on an air of elegance and refinement… just in case.

“Okay, well kill time by helping me find my lucky earrings,” Seungyoun said. 

“You lost them again?”

“No, I just don’t know where they are.”

Wooseok sighed. “How are they lucky if you always lose them.”

“I did  _ not  _ lose them,” Seungyoun insisted. “And they’re lucky because any time I wear them, something good happens.”

Wooseok thought it was silly, but if it was that important to him, he figured it would be worth it to help him look. Seungyoun pulled the cushions off the couch and searched frantically. Wooseok headed directly to the bathroom because that’s where his lucky earrings always were because he took them off to shower  _ every single time.  _

He found them on the counter and scooped them up, careful not to drop them down the sink. He took a dangly earring in each hand with his fingertips and walked them out like he was holding jewels. 

“I found your lu–,” he said, but stopped when he saw Seungwoo standing in the living room with Seungyoun. He almost let out a gasp in surprise, but he held that shit in. He  _ would not  _ fawn over any man even if that man was wearing a shirt that tugged against every muscle on his body and might have been wearing a little bit of eyeshadow around his eyes. Wooseok cleared his throat. “Lucky earrings.”

“Really?!” Seungyoun jumped up off of the floor from searching underneath the couch to take them. “Where did you find them?”

“I don’t know,” Wooseok said in a daze. He was staring at Seungwoo who was staring back, and suddenly his mind went blank. This time Seungwoo didn’t look away. 

Wooseok blinked and turned to Seungyoun before he lost his breath. “On the bathroom counter where you always leave them.”

“Ahhh,” Seungyoun said with a big smile. “As expected, I can always count on you! I’m going to go put these in. Try not to kill each other.”

Wooseok laughed nervously. Maybe he hadn’t been subtle that he was trying to avoid Seungwoo, so if he thought he hated him, it was probably for his own good. Seungwoo shrugged and sat on the couch. 

“You think he would remember by now,” he said.

“Yeah,” Wooseok said, twisting his foot into the rug idly. 

“You can sit down,” Seungwoo said. “It’s your house.”

“I’m okay,” he said, too scared to get too close. If he found out what his aftershave smelled like he would surely perish. 

Seungwoo furrowed his brow, but he didn’t push it. He instead picked up the book Wooseok was pretending to read earlier. He flipped through it, and Wooseok thought he looked quite sophisticated thumbing through the pages all flippantly like that. 

“Do you read much,” Wooseok asked and cursed himself. He didn’t want to know. Didn’t need to know.

“Not as much as I should,” Seungwoo said, setting the book down on the table. “What about you?”

_ Don’t ask me questions about myself. Don’t pretend to care or be considerate.  _ “Someone gave that to me last year, and I just picked it up.”

“Hmm,” he thought aloud. “If it’s any good, can I borrow it?”

“Sure,” Wooseok said. “I’ll let you know when I’m done with it.”

He knew he would never actually get around to reading it, but he didn’t want to establish any sort of real agreement that they could share anything except for a mutual best friend who always lost his dumb lucky earrings. 

“You guys ready to go?” Seungyoun came out from the bathroom with his lucky earrings dangling from both ears. He now donned a black pageboy cap and a large sweatshirt with torn up jeans that was his version of dressing up for a night on the town. 

Before Wooseok or Seungwoo could answer, Seungyoun’s phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and frowned. “I have to take this.”

Now standing in the middle of the room felt silly so Wooseok sat on the opposite end of the couch as far away as he could.

Whoever it was, Seungyoun sounded serious. It was muffled, but a shrill voice on the other end shouted through the phone and a few choice nasty words could be made out.  _ Bastard. Careless. Screwed.  _ Seungyoun pulled the phone from his ear and nodded even though the person couldn’t see him.

“I’ll be right there,” he said calmly once they stopped screaming. “It must have fallen out. Just wait a few minutes.”

The shrieking and swearing started again and both Wooseok and Seungwoo tensed. Seungyoun nodded to himself accepting the criticism like a good junior or like someone who had to deal with this so often that his body reacted accordingly. “I know. I’m sorry. I’ll be there soon.”

He hung up and sighed. He turned to them and frowned. “I need to go back to work. Can you guys wait for me just a bit? I’m really sorry.”

“No!” Seungwoo said. “Don’t worry about it! We can wait!”

“Yeah, it’s not a problem at all,” Wooseok added.

Seungyoun smiled weakly. “Please don’t go home. I promise I’ll be right back. Twenty minutes tops!”

Seungwoo waved his hands. “It’s your birthday. I’m not missing it.”

“Thanks!” Seungyoun said before running out the door.

“Twenty minutes tops,” Wooseok said quietly, not meaning to.

“It’ll be fine,” he said. “If it doesn’t work out, then we can just try again tomorrow.”

“It’ll work out,” Wooseok said. He didn’t want to have to try again. He was already overwhelmed. This was enough Seungwoo contact for the whole week. He was going to pass out.

They waited there quietly as twenty minutes became an hour, and Seungyoun still wasn’t home. 

“I guess I should go,” Seungwoo said sadly. 

“No, if he comes back and you’re not here, he’ll get his feelings hurt and not want to do anything.”

Seungwoo sucked his teeth. “You’re right.”

Wooseok stood up to go to his room. “I’ll let you know if he texts me.”

“You don’t have to hide,” Seungwoo said. “It’s your apartment.”

“I wasn’t hiding,” Wooseok lied.

Seungwoo raised an eyebrow. Wooseok sat back down and pretended to be comfortable. “Do you want to watch something while we wait then?”

“That’s fine,” Seungwoo said. “You pick though.”

Wooseok turned the tv on and left the channel where it was. He wasn’t ready to show Seungwoo his tastes and dare have him form an opinion of him. 

They sat together quietly, both chuckling at the same parts as if they had the same sense of humor. That was impossible. The only thing they had in common was Seungyoun. 

“Do you mind?” Seungwoo asked gesturing towards the kitchen. He had been there a million times, and he still felt the need to be polite and ask for permission to do things. How terrible.

“Help yourself,” Wooseok said.

Seungwoo left and returned with not one but two drinks. He passed one to Wooseok, and their fingers barely touched but it was enough to make Wooseok’s hand jerk back and spill his drink all over himself.

“Oh my god!” Seungwoo shouted. Wooseok’s shirt was soaked through completely leaving him exposed, and he wished suddenly that he had worn cotton instead. Seungwoo ran back to the kitchen while Wooseok sat there in shock like an idiot and came back with a handful of kitchen towels. “I’m so sorry!”

He lunged forward and started dabbing Wooseok’s torso with the towels and was so close they almost bumped noses.  _ Wow, he really looks like that doesn’t he. _

Seungwoo caught him staring and lingered a bit, inches from his face causing Wooseok’s heart to skip a beat. He cleared his throat, flustered and sat back on the couch, putting a comfortable distance between them. 

“Sorry,” he muttered.

Wooseok blinked, his heart fluttering too much to care about his shirt. “It was my fault.”

“I didn’t mean to…”

“It was my fault,” Wooseok said. He let out a sigh that sounded agitated, but he was only frustrated at himself. He took the towels and patted himself dry. “I’m going to go get changed.”

He came back in a loose fitting t-shirt that probably originally belonged to his roommate, no longer caring what he looked like. He had been doused in cola. That was enough to end any fashionable feelings he had for the night.

“I’m sorry,” Seungwoo said.

“No, really it’s fine,” Wooseok said, sitting down on the couch but feeling less tense. It’s as if being in his pajamas had created new defenses.

Seungwoo sighed and looked at the tv. “I know you hate me.”

“What?” Wooseok coughed. “I don’t… hate you…”

Seungwoo frowned, and Wooseok’s heart ached. He didn’t mean to hurt him…

“I’m not taking him away,” he said. “I thought that the three of us… nevermind.”

“I know,” Wooseok said. “It’s not you I promise. You’re fine. You’re great, really.”

Seungwoo gave him a thin lipped smile like he didn’t believe it, and Wooseok hated himself for it.  _ You’re the only great person in the whole world. Except for maybe me. And Seungyoun. _

“You look nice,” Seungwoo said, changing the subject.

Wooseok laughed awkwardly. “This old thing? You’re just being nice.”

And then he smiled like he knew something terrible. “It’s mine, you know.”

Wooseok choked. “It’s what now?”

“Yeah, I let Seungyoun borrow it a few months ago.”

Wooseok looked at him in horror. “It must have ended up in my laundry pile. I’m so sorry! Let me go change out of it.”

“No! It looks better on you than it does me. Keep it.”

“I really can’t,” he said.

“Why not?”

“Because I– because it’s not mine.”

“I’m giving it to you.”

“Why?”

“I just am.”

Wooseok frowned. “I didn’t know it was yours.”

“Now it’s not.”

Before Wooseok could object again, Seungwoo continued. “How many times have you worn it? Because the graphic was still normal when I lent it to him, and now it looks like a ten year old sleep shirt.”

Wooseok looked down at the worn decal and was overcome with embarrassment.

“I didn’t mean to ruin it,” he said. “I’ll buy you another one when we go out tonight.”

“It looks better like this,” Seungwoo said. “Maybe you could wear out more of my shirts.”

He was just joking, but Wooseok’s cheeks turned a fiery red anyways. 

“Are you okay?” Seungwoo said, putting the back of his hand to the side of Wooseok’s face. “You look like you have a fever.”

Wooseok pulled back, flustered. “I’m fine! It’s just warm in here.”

“Is it?” He said pulling his hand away. “I’m feeling kind of cold.”

“Maybe it’s cold,” Wooseok said. “I don’t know I’m fine.”

Seungwoo frowned. 

They watched tv again for a while, and then an hour passed and Seungyoun was nowhere to be found.

“I don’t know what’s taking him so long,” Wooseok said.

“His boss sounded pretty mad,” Seungwoo said. “Didn’t they?”

“Yeah like who talks to someone like that on their birthday,” Wooseok said, angrier than he meant to.

Seungwoo cracked a smile.

“What?” Wooseok said.

“Nothing,” Seungwoo returned his focus to the tv.

“ _ What?” _

“You’re cute when you’re angry,” he said without looking at Wooseok who had been completely derailed.

Wooseok looked down and sighed. “You can’t just go around calling people cute like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because they might get the wrong idea,” Wooseok said, too tired to filter himself. He could stew in his own regret in the morning.

Seungwoo turned towards him, hooking his leg beneath himself to fully face him. “What wrong idea?”

Wooseok’s mouth thinned. “I don’t know. I’m just saying.”

“He wants us to be friends, know.”

“I know that,” Wooseok said, pretending like he didn’t see him. 

“So?”

“So?”

“Why aren’t we,” he asked.

“We are friends,” Wooseok said. “Look at how friendly we are.”

Seungwoo put his arm on the top of the cushion and leaned forward. “Only one of us is being friendly.”

Wooseok rolled his head back and closed his eyes. “What is the point in doing this?”

“Because it bothers me,” he said.

Wooseok couldn’t say anything. If he did he would ruin everything, and he had put in a lot of effort into not ruining things. Seungwoo just had to accept that they could not be friends, because Wooseok couldn’t be his  _ friend.  _ Not when he was like this.

“Please don’t be upset,” Wooseok said quietly after a while. “It’s not you…”

Seungwoo closed his eyes and sighed. “I get it. Let’s just be civil to each other when he’s around then. Seungyoun shouldn't have to suffer.”

“No, he shouldn’t,” Wooseok cursed himself. This would work a lot better if Seungwoo could just play along and pretend he didn’t exist. “I don’t want to have this conversation.”

Another hour had passed, and Seungwoo was getting antsy. He had made a genuine effort to get closer to Wooseok while he had the chance, but Wooseok was too cold and his outer shell was impenetrable and now things were awkward. Well, they were always awkward, but now they had to sit there together all night waiting for Seungyoun to come home. 

It’s not that Wooseok wasn’t allowed to not like him. He knew that his personality wasn’t for everybody, but the problem is he  _ wanted  _ him to like him. Seungwoo tried to go out of his way multiple times to make Wooseok happy, but he either found clever (and obvious) ways to get away from him or he made sure Seungwoo knew his effort had been wasted. He thought surely that night he could find some way to make Wooseok like him just a little bit.

When he saw him earlier dangling Seungyoun’s earrings, his heart stopped. He looked like he had been cut out of a magazine and couldn’t have possibly been real, and then he looked at him with a softness that Seungwoo thought might have had something meaningful to it. He had hoped foolishly because in the blink of an eye, it was gone. Wooseok couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with him.

Stay, he had pleaded on the inside. He just wanted him to look at him like that again one more time so he would have the chance to memorize what it felt like. And then Wooseok had spilled his drink all over himself, and Seungwoo pretended that it was his fault. It was a complete accident the way their hands touched, not that he didn’t want to know what that would feel like, and Wooseok had all but flailed to get away from him. That stung. But then he put on Seungwoo’s shirt, and Seungwoo thought that maybe there had been something there. That was cleared up pretty quickly once it became apparent that Wooseok thought he was wearing his roommate’s clothes. Seungwoo had smiled bitterly, feeling undeniably foolish.

It drove him crazy. He needed to know why Wooseok hated him so much so that he could fix it, but Wooseok wouldn’t budge. If anything the conversation seemed to make him sad, and that wasn’t what Seungwoo wanted at all. So he waited quietly and hoped Seungyoun would return soon so that they could leave.

Wooseok yawned next to him, his head nodding forward.

“You can go to bed if you want,” Seungwoo offered. “I’ll stay up for him.”

“I’m fine,” Wooseok said. He was always fine, never letting on to what he was really feeling. “I just need to move around.”

Wooseok stood and paced. Seungwoo propped himself up against the armrest and watched him walk back and forth. Wooseok’s eyes flickered in his direction, but Seungwoo wasn’t embarrassed. 

“You’re staring at me,” Wooseok said.

“You’re pacing in front of the tv.”

“Oh,” Wooseok said, turning a shade of pink.  _ Was he blushing earlier? _

Wooseok sat back down and fidgeted.

“You don’t have to stay up, really,” Seungwoo insisted. “I’ll still be here.”

Wooseok stood up again, this time angry. “As long as it’s you, right?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Wooseok turned and left to go to his room, but Seungwoo was faster. He wasn’t going to let him get away with being passive aggressive for no reason at all. Seungwoo grabbed his hand and pulled him back. 

Wooseok faced him, and for the first time he realized how tiny be was. He looked up at him with a spark of rage and sadness in his eyes that twinkled like two pools of water. 

He instinctively raised his hand and ran his thumb over Wooseok’s cheekbones noting their sharpness in an otherwise delicate face. For some reason, Wooseok didn’t stop him.

“What are you doing,” Wooseok said, his voice barely audible.

“I don’t know,” Seungwoo answered quietly. “But it feels like what I’m supposed to.”

He slid his hand down Wooseok’s cheek, careful like he was in a trance and found the place beneath Wooseok’s chin behind his jaw.

“Why?” Wooseok whispered, his voice catching in his throat, but Seungwoo couldn’t say.

He lifted his chin towards him. Wooseok’s eyes closed, and Seungwoo tilted his head down to him.  _ What am I doing?  _ Their lips barely touched, but it was enough to send a shock through his body. He felt Wooseok tense, and he immediately thought that he had fucked up, but then to his surprise he kissed him back. He grabbed Seungwoo and pulled him closer, and Seungwoo thought his heart would burst, but then the door beeped, and it did almost burst but for all the wrong reasons.

Wooseok tore himself away and covered his face in horror. Seungyoun came in, looking tired and defeated from work. Seungwoo was too dizzy to come up with words so he just hoped Seungyoun would start unloading on his own.

“Sorry, guys,” Seungyoun said. “I made a dumb mistake at work that took hours to fix. I hope you’re not too mad at me.”

“No!” They both shouted.

“It’s your birthday,” Wooseok said. “We didn’t mind waiting.”

Seungyoun eyed them, and for a second Seungwoo feared that he knew something. 

“You two didn’t kill each other, did you?” Seungyoun asked.

“Nope, we were on our best behavior,” Seungwoo said.

“Hmm,” Seungyoun said, suspicious. “Something seems off…”

“Nothing happened,” Wooseok insisted.

“No, no, something definitely seems different,” Seungyoun said. “I just can’t put my finger on it… ah!”

Both Seungwoo and Wooseok winced.

“You changed clothes!”

“Ahhhh, yes,” Wooseok said. “I spilled my drink all over myself earlier.”

“I knocked it over onto him, really,” Seungwoo added.

“It was a team effort.”

Seungyoun smiled brightly. “Look at you two doing stuff together.”

Wooseok couldn’t even look at him. Seungwoo laughed awkwardly. 

“Well it  _ is  _ your birthday,” he said, earning a glare from a very red faced Wooseok that wiped the smile of his face.  _ Sorry. _

Seungyoun set his things down and stretched. He rubbed his lower back and sighed. “I guess we can do something another time. I’m sorry you stayed here all night.”

“It’s still your birthday for a couple more hours,” Wooseok said. “We can still celebrate it with you.”

“Yeah, I mean I’m already here,” Seungwoo said.

Seungyoun shook his head. “I’m not really in the mood to go out.”

“Who said anything about going out?” Wooseok said.

Seungyoun left to take a shower and wash the office smell off of him and change into something comfortable. Wooseok got a head start on making his birthday dinner which gave him a chance to put some distance between him and Seungwoo.

_ What the hell was that?  _ Their too quick shared kiss still lingered on the tip of his tongue like something from a dream, and he caught himself gripping the counter to catch his breath when he remembered the way it felt. 

They had never been that close before. The scent of shampoo, skin, and sweat mixed with laundry detergent and cologne, and Wooseok had gotten drunk off it. He had wanted to pull away, but then he had let himself slip in that moment and forget that he had to stay away from him for all their sakes. But the way he looked at him… so warm and curious… Wooseok shook himself.  _ That was a mistake.  _

He threw himself into slicing onions for stew and gained an almost perfect tunnel vision that allowed him to get through it without cutting himself. But then there was something warm and new. Seungwoo’s hand went around his waist and the knife fell from Wooseok’s hand onto the cutting board. His eyes were wide open in shock, but then Seungwoo reached around and kissed him on the neck right below his ear. His hot breath sent a shiver down his spine, and he closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh that betrayed him.

Seungwoo took the knife and set it safely to the side before turning him around to face him. Wooseok’s lip quivered as a tear slipped from his eye, the pain in his chest too much to bear.

“What?” Seungwoo said, stroking his cheek.

Wooseok hung his head and shook it.  _ No. _

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No,” he squeaked, about to lose it. “I just– I don’t hate you. Not really.”

Seungwoo placed his hands on the counter on either side of him and lowered himself, their noses almost touching again.

“I don’t want you to hate me,” Seungwoo said almost inaudibly. “Not really.

Wooseok raised his hand and thread his fingers through the back of Seungwoo’s head into his soft hair. He closed his eyes and smiled softly, unconsciously, and Wooseok thought he reminded him of a cat. He pulled Seungwoo to him and kissed him again, this time both of them knowing what they were doing. 

Seungwoo inhaled sharply and pushed his body against Wooseok into the counter. Wooseok gasped into his mouth and pulled him closer this time raw and hungry. Everything he had bottled up inside poured out at once out of his control.

His hands ran up under Wooseok’s shirt feeling the body beneath it, and suddenly Wooseok hated clothes. All they did was get in the way. 

Wooseok’s head rolled back, and Seungwoo kissed him down his neck, biting gently but not hard enough to leave a mark that mattered.

“We can’t,” Wooseok said, breathless. “What if he–.”

“I’m listening,” Seungwoo said, he kissed him again and pulled away as Wooseok tugged his bottom lip. Between their breaths he could hear the shower water hitting the floor and knew they still had a couple of minutes. “That’s what you’re afraid of isn’t.”

Wooseok nodded. “He takes short showers.”

“Do you want to stop?” 

“No,” Wooseok said, his voice too desperate, too exposed.

Seungwoo smiled against his mouth, and Wooseok threw his arms around his neck, pulling him even closer than he thought possible. They occupied such a tiny space in a big room, but he felt like they were exploding. He was worried that the world would collapse at their feet leaving him dangling off the edge.

The water stopped running, and Seungwoo pushed himself away. They both took a minute to catch their breath, and Wooseok felt that the air had been sucked forcefully from his lungs. He rubbed his face and fanned himself. Seungwoo laughed at him and kissed him once more quickly on the lips before Seungyoun came out.

“What’s for dinner!” Seungyoun said with a clap. 

Wooseok jumped, startled like he’d been caught, but Seungwoo was on the other side of the kitchen looking like he had been busy this whole time doing something other than making out with Wooseok. Wooseok, on the other hand, had a pile of half cut onions to explain and nothing on the stove to show for it.

“Actually,” Seungwoo said. “Wooseok wanted to cook for you, but since it’s so late, I suggested we should order your favorite foods instead.”

“Yes!” Wooseok said, eternally grateful that Seungwoo was on his team that night. “But we didn’t know what you were craving so we waited.”

“Awww, you guys,” he said with a big smile and teary eyes. “That’s so nice! You’re paying right?”

“Yes,” they both said, and Wooseok worried his wallet would not stand a chance against the karma he was about to receive for letting himself throw his whole friendship away.

As expected, the birthday boy ordered  _ all  _ of his favorites. Seungwoo paid for everything because he felt like it was the polite thing to do after being the reason that Wooseok had to explain a half chopped pile of onions. He had to use his credit card to cover the three pizzas, the two boxes of chicken (seasoned and unseasoned, the hamburgers, the rice cakes, the giant bag of chicken soup, the dumplings, and the chicken feet for Wooseok because Seungwoo remembered that they were his favorite and if Seungyoun asked he’d swear he ordered them out if habit. Luckily the two roommates kept enough drinks in their apartment for a small army so he didn’t have to worry about that.

That’s what he needed. Alcohol. He needed to clear his head and calm his nerves before his shaking hands gave him away.

_ He doesn’t hate me. But does he… _ he shook himself. It was Seungyoun’s birthday party, and that’s where his head needed to be. Except he was too busy stealing glances at Wooseok to focus.

Neither one of them were eating. If Wooseok’s nerves were as shot as his, he was probably sick to his stomach, but Seungyoun couldn’t eat it all by himself. Well, he probably could, but that would have been a terrible idea. He made himself eat the rice cakes hoping something soft and chewy would help him forget about something else that was soft and chewy. He coughed and choked.

“You okay,” Seungyoun asked, smacking him on the back. 

Seungwoo coughed and sputtered, turning red in the face. “I’m fine! It just went down the wrong way.”

Wooseok watched him with a mixture of surprise and concern, and he had no idea it was because of him. Seungwoo looked away and pretended to eat his food ignoring the way Wooseok bore into him.

Wooseok hadn’t been drinking, he noticed. He barely sipped at his beer, and when Seungyoun called for shots, Seungwoo watched him avoid taking any in clever little ways. He thought he should stop too. He needed his head. They both did.

Seungyoun on the other hand was having a marvelous time. Once they finished eating, he was quite red in the face and all smiles.

“Guyzh,” he slurred. “I have shomething to confesh…”

Wooseok and Seungwoo waited anxiously for his “confeshion”.

“I ffffucking hate my jhob,” he said, throwing a stray french fry across the room. “Do you know they made  _ me  _ come back in on my  _ birthday  _ to short thsrough thsree hundred shtacks of mail! And fer what? A sthupid little mail flyer that washzn’t shupposhed to come out until Monday.”

Seungyoun stood up and almost knocked over a lamp. Seungwoo jumped up to grab him a second before Wooseok could get to him.

“Whoa there,” Seungwoo said. “Let’s get you to the couch.”

Seungyoun wrapped his arms around him and frowned. “You know for shomeone who is sho smart, you can be a real big dumb dumb shometimes.”

“Yeeeees,” Seungwoo said. “I know. I’m a big idiot. Let’s go!”

“You wouldn’t know anything even if it hit you in the facesh,” he scolded, stumbling to the couch.

Together Wooseok and Seungwoo got him down safely, but he dragged them down with him. 

“Can we wassh a movie,” he asked cutely, holding both of their hands.

“Don’t you want to go to bed?” Wooseok asked, hopeful.

“Noooo,” a very tipsy Seungyoun said. “It’s shtill my birthday.”

So they put on a movie to finish off his birthday party. Wooseok brought them blankets to spread across themselves, and he put on a movie that Seungyoun liked to watch. Seungyoun spent the first hour rocking back and forth between them whispering about the movie too loudly to hear it, but that was fine. Seungwoo couldn’t pay attention over his thoughts anyway. There was also no way he could watch Wooseok with Seungyoun in between them, but he wanted to.

An hour in, Seungyoun was asleep, snoring loudly, and Seungwoo and Wooseok looked at each other and smiled. They finished the movie in silence, neither one of them wanting to wake the sleeping hungry giant.

It took a bit of coordination, but between the two of them, they were able to safely transfer him to his bed and tuck him in so that he couldn’t roll away. And then it was midnight.

Seungwoo shut the door behind him, and he and Wooseok stood awkwardly together in the living room like they had only hours before when Wooseok hated him so much he couldn’t stand near him.

“I guess I should get going,” Seungwoo said.

“You don’t have to,” Wooseok said. “It’s late, and taxis are expensive at night.”

Seungwoo sighed. “It’s not his birthday anymore.”

“That’s okay,” he said quietly before sitting down on the couch. He patted the cushion next to him but far enough that Seungwoo knew it wasn’t an invitation. He sat next to him with the same degree of space between them as they had before.

“Are you sure it’s okay,” he asked.

Wooseok nodded. “It’s safer this way, isn’t it.”

“Yeah,” he agreed quietly. “Do you want to watch tv?”

Wooseok shook his head. Seungwoo tossed him a blanket that had been knocked over so he wouldn’t get cold.

They were quiet for a while both thinking and unable to look at each other no matter how much he wanted to.

But then Wooseok took a breath like he was about to say something before changing his mind.

“What is it?” He asked.

Wooseok let out a heavy sigh. “We can pretend like this didn’t happen if you want to.”

Seungwoo looked at him and frowned. “I don’t.”

“Hm?” He looked at him for clarification.

“I don’t want to pretend anything with you anymore,” Seungwoo said quietly as to not let his voice carry into Seungyoun’s room.

Wooseok thought for a moment, fighting a battle with himself that Seungwoo couldn’t read. 

“I can’t do friends with benefits,” Wooseok said. “I don’t like it, and I’m afraid it will hurt too much.”

“Okay,” he said.

“So you agree?”

Seungwoo nodded his head. He saw the sadness on Wooseok’s face and felt an unseen force pull him closer.

Seungwoo sat next to Wooseok and took his hand. “You cry a lot, don’t you?”

Wooseok’s lip quivered again. “No. It was the onions.”

“You’re cutting onions now? Let me see?”

“Shut up,” Wooseok said weakly.

Seungwoo turned his cheek towards him and kissed him again gently. “What if we…”

His voice trailed off, caught in his throat. Wooseok’s eyes were wide and watery. “What are you saying?”

“I don’t want you to laugh at me,” Seungwoo said.

“You’re the one making jokes,” he said.

“I know,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

Wooseok looked at him sadly. “I can’t do the dumb friends with benefits thing because I’ve been in love with you since Seungyoun first brought you over, and I won’t be able to survive it.”

Seungwoo inhaled sharply not expecting to ever hear words like that from him. 

Wooseok moved to get up and hide in his room, but Seungwoo caught him again. He pulled him close to him, and Wooseok buried his face into his neck. Seungwoo held him and waited for him to calm down between rows of quiet sobs and weak sniffles. He stroked the back of his head, and Wooseok cried like a big baby that he didn’t know he was.

Wooseok pulled away when he was ready, his nose a comical shade of red. “Could you forgive me for being so awful?”

Seungwoo nodded. He rested his head on the back of the couch and examined the swollen face that seemed so much smaller up close. Wooseok stared back, fearless. 

“You might be the most beautiful person I’ve ever met,” Seungwoo admitted.

Wooseok looked away, embarrassed.

“You look good in my shirt,” he added, watching the warmth raise up Wooseok’s neck. “I wonder how you would look in the rest of them.”

Wooseok looked back, confused. Seungwoo smiled.

“What if you were someone who took all my shirts,” Seungwoo said. “And what if you didn’t have to hide from me when you wore them.”

“What are you?”

“What if we…”

“We can’t,” Wooseok whispered and pointed at Seungyoun’s door.

“Did you ask him?”

“No…”

“Why don’t we?” Seungwoo asked.

“Why don’t we what?”

“Ask him if I can make you mine.”

Wooseok coughed. He didn’t believe his ears. Seungwoo was either playing the cruelest joke he had ever heard in his life, or he was just that fucking cheesy. Either way, Wooseok had been absolutely knocked off his feet. 

He waited for a laugh or for him to crack a smile, but Seungwoo was being serious. Or he was truly too cruel.

“Do you actually want to be with me?” Wooseok said, suspicious.

“Yep,” he said, unfaltering.

“Why?”

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Wooseok whole body went hot, and if he had been standing, he would have surely collapsed onto the floor.

“What?”

Seungwoo sat up and moved towards him, putting his face merely inches away. Wooseok could hardly believe what was happening.

“You heard me,” he voice low and sweet. 

Wooseok’s gaze darted from the shape of his mouth to his eyes that were fixated on his. He leaned closer and kissed Seungwoo again carefully, still unsure. Seungwoo smiled against his mouth.

“So is that a yes,” he said quietly.

Wooseok nodded, his eyes closed as he breathed him in. 

“What if he says no,” Wooseok whispered.

“We’ll figure that out if it comes to that.”

Seungwoo wrapped his arms around him and pulled him down onto the couch on his chest. Wooseok tossed the blanket around them and decided what was the harm of a few simple couch kisses late at night.

“Ahem,” Seungyoun said. 

The apartment was filled with morning light, and Wooseok wasn’t sure where he was except for the fact that Seungyoun was standing over his with his hands on his hips and Seungwoo was underneath him surely not wearing any clothes.

He gasped and covered them up.

Seungwoo woke at the sensation of Wooseok flopping around helplessly on top of him and covered himself more with the blanket in horror.

They sat on the couch in nothing but their blankets as Seungyoun stood before them, tapping his foot on the floor like a scolding parent.

“What,” Seungyoun said causing them both to wince. “Took you so long?!”

“What?” Wooseok and Seungwoo said, both equally befuddled. 

“Aha! Do you know how _ long _ I’ve been trying to set you two up?! And here you are! And for my birthday!” 

Seungyoun clapped and sat between them clearly unbothered by their inherent nudity. 

“You’ve been what?” Wooseok said in disbelief. 

“Yeah, you stubborn jerk,” Seungyoun said. “For like two years now! Wow!”

He squeezed him with a big hug and then squeezed Seungwoo. 

Seungwoo pulled the blanket up over his chest, feeling exposed. Wooseok couldn’t look at either of them.

“Now,” Seungyoun jumped up. “You two get dressed and take my card and go out and do something nice! Stay out all day! Do whatever you want! Go to the beach! See a movie! Plant a tree!”

“What about you,” Seungwoo asked.

“Oh, I’ve gotta stay here and find a way to burn this couch.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Let me know what you think!
> 
> twitter @seungteefs


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